A 17 year-old girl came up with this definition of intimacy:
"It is the capacity to be real with other people."
What a refreshing definition, especially when it comes from a 17-year old!
What does it really mean to be real? To be true to oneself. To be authentic. To be NOT FAKE.
What causes people to be unreal? Fears of being hurt? Fears of being ridiculed? Fears of being too exposed and thus lacking the wonderful sense of secrecy/mystic? I firmly believe these rational or irrational fears have caused invisible walls being erected among people. Nothing is more tragic than when it occurs between husband and wife or between a parent and a child.
Am I real to most people? With whom am I most real and with whom am I not? If a person is unreal most of his/her waking moments, then s/he will most likely be lost in her/his created images one day. What a price to pay!
An unreal person can't be happy! At least I don't see how it can be.
If a person is consistently seeking to change me for his/her selfish/unrealistic dreams, then it is time to shun him/her. Life is just too short to live for others.
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